Falling In Love with your Best Friend


Do you have a best male friend? The one whom you do almost everything together? From concerts to dinners, to traveling together, to complaining about your jobs and bad dates, you do it all—except sleep together. And at the back of your mind you once think of kissing him but should you? If there’s a man in your life who’s the first person you turn to, maybe he has the potential to be more than just a friend. Maybe you should date him!

Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not talking about dating your guy friend because you’re lonely, or not married yet or bored. I’m telling you to look at your friendship and your friend with a discerning eye. Are there any romantic feelings there? Do you get the sense he has romantic feelings for you? Ponder these questions and a few more!

Why is He Your Best Friend?

You guys spend so much time together for a reason. Maybe he makes you feel good about yourself. Maybe he really listens to you. Maybe his apartment feels like a safe and welcoming environment that shields you from the harshness of the outside world. If you guys can sit in front the the TV in silence and still have a great time just being in each other’s presence, maybe there’s something more there. If he’s the first person you think of when something good or bad happens in your life, maybe your relationship could be more than a friendship. Maybe you haven’t considered him romantically because he’s right in front of your face! Sometimes an image or a person can be too close to see.

Are You Both Single?

One of the things you bond over is bad dates. He can’t seem to meet anyone great and neither can you. Except, you actually already have—each other! Instead of having bad date after bad date, why not go out with someone you know you’ll have a good time with? If you are both free of any other romantic entanglements, why not consider taking your relationship to the next level. Chances are there is something there that perhaps you are ignoring because real connections are scary. Going on dates that never amount to anything may be disappointing, but putting your heart out there with someone valuable can ultimately be the hardest (and best) choice because it has the ability to change you for the better.

Are You Attracted to Each Other?

C’mon, dig deep. How do you really feel? Why is he the person you go to for everything? Why is he the person you want to see whenever you have free time? If just looking at his face makes you smile, don’t try convincing yourself you don’t find him attractive. Even your friends are secretly taking bets as to when the two of you will finally get together. Stop denying the attraction and consider romance the next time you look into his eyes. Instead of a quick celebratory high five, let your hand linger a little longer. See if you end up holding hands and liking it. It could be the first step toward major romantic progress.

Do You Get Jealous When He Dates Other People?

Do you hate it when he dates other people? Perhaps you feel threatened or a bit possessive when someone new comes into his life—especially when your best friend spends more time with them than you. Now they won’t drop everything just to spend time with you. They may even establish some healthy boundaries so their new partner doesn’t feel like they have to compete with you. I’ve had many close platonic male friends, and I’ve always understood that there will be some distance when they get into a relationship. Their romantic partner is their top priority and you have to understand that. If they’d rather make you a priority than the other person, then they are not with the right person and should be with you!

Are You Afraid of Ruining Your Friendship?

Lastly, if you’re not dating because you don’t want to ruin the friendship, this is never a good reason to deny love. If you’re romantically interested and compatible, then go for it. You won’t be complicating things by becoming a couple, you will be enhancing them! Some of the best romantic relationships started out as friendships. Wouldn’t you like to be one of those relationships?

Never a Cure for Loneliness

Dating your best friend is a serious thing to do, so don’t do it if you don’t have noble intentions. Don’t date them if you’re looking for a casual relationship and are not ready to commit. Don’t do it because you’re feeling lonely. You could end up lonelier without them to call a friend. Don’t date them to keep them from dating someone else. If you truly care for them, you want them to be happy. And lastly, don’t even consider dating them if you realize you don’t feel passion for them.