Don’t Take Your Ex Back Yet!

Don’t Take Your Ex Back Yet

It is normal for people to want to jump right back in once they break up with their ex. They will think that they will have less pain or that their ex will find someone else if they don’t move quickly.

These thoughts happen after a breakup, but the truth is, it’s better to wait for things to calm down and to find out if you even want to be with your ex before you ever move back towards getting them back. This will give you a time to see and give them a time to miss you. As you build back your self-esteem and allow your mind to be clearer, you can look at your relationship from a different point of view.

Here are some reasons to wait before you take your ex back!

  • Being Addicted to Them

Sometimes when you breakup with someone it is like being addicted to something. This is a real addiction and the best thing that you can do is to stay away form something that you’re addicted to.

Even though you want your ex back, you should wait and see if this is the best choice for you. This is an opportunity for you to try new things and to seek out new love and see if you really should be back together with them. If you are with someone that was toxic or unhealthy for you, there is no point in going back to them. Here are some things you should ask yourself:

    • What was is like when you spent time with them? What did they make you feel? Did you feel safe or insecure? Did you feel happy and confident, or did you feel that you weren’t good enough?
    • Do you hate being alone more than you want to be with your ex? When you see other people together is that what makes you think of your ex?
    • Do you think of your ex all the time?
    • Have you ignored things that are healthy for your life?
    • Have you ignored your goals and you feel that the only thing that will help you is to get back with your ex?
  • Notice Your Mental Health

Making a big decision after breaking up with someone isn’t a good idea. You need to take time to look at your relationship and see if it was even a good relationship in the first place or if you just miss being with someone.

If your relationship with your ex was good and you think getting back with them is a good idea, it’s still a good idea to wait. Someone that has just went through a breakup is often feeling desperate and needy and they will do what they can to get rid of these feelings.

Being needy is never attractive and your ex probably already feels that he or she has a lot of reasons to not be with you. If you go and show them that you are needy or desperate then they will be pushed further away from you.

If you are insecure and you feel bad about your life on the inside, chances are that you can’t hide this, and you can’t control what comes out on the outside. The one thing that you can control though is the actions that you take. Your ex will see that you are just acting if you try to get back with them right now.

Take a month and work on yourself and become happy with your life even as a single person. This will help you to build your self-esteem and to be more confident in your life. As you exude confidence and happiness your ex will see this.

Don’t be upset with yourself if you feel needy it doesn’t mean that this can’t change. The best way to stop feeling this way though is to work on yourself and focus on what you need emotionally and mentally. Be kind and loving to yourself and work on who you are.

  • The Professionals Say So!

One reason to listen to this article is because it is something that has been noted by professionals. In a study, it showed that people that get their exes back and are able to stay with them took at least 30 days before they got back together with them. Most of the time, it took people up to 6 months to get things reconciled.

These are people that actually got back together long-term and because they waited and worked on themselves before, they ever decided to go back with their ex.

  • Look at the Dynamics

What are the dynamics of your breakup? Did your ex reject you? If your ex is the one that broke up with you then they have the power of the relationship. They are the one that left you and you are the one that feels sad and miserable.

If you miss your ex and you think about them all the time, you might feel that you would do anything to get them back. If you want to get over the breakup, you need to move on with your life. If you call your ex and you beg them and show them how needy you are, your ex is the one that is in control. By not contacting them, you are the one that is in control of the dynamic.

Chances are that your ex is just as upset about the breakup as you are. If you are someone that is needy and you make them, think that they can get what they want with you, they have the power. Even though you are the one hurting, you need to not make it easy for them to get back with you.

Your ex might still miss you and be miserable with you but as long as you aren’t contacting them and they don’t know what you are feeling, you can have a chance to look at things from a different perspective.

By not contacting them, you are giving them the breakup that they want. This isn’t a bad thing if you want them back. Creating a space between you and your ex allows them to think about the breakup and the relationship and gives them time to miss you.

Should You Wait?

Whenever you are ready to start speaking to your ex, go ahead and contact them. The idea behind no contact is that you contact someone when you feel healed. Once you realize what is broken in the relationship, you can contact your ex and you can start building something new with them.

If you are waiting for your ex to contact you, this might never happen. Waiting means letting go but if you want to get back with them then you will need to focus on them after you have taken time to heal and feel better in your life. You can then start building a new connection with them.

How Long Should You Wait?

There is no set time that you should wait to contact your ex. If you are waiting for something to happen on their part, then you are probably wasting your time. If you want to get them back and you are ready to take action, here is what you should wait for:

    • Yourself to heal from the breakup.
    • Things to calm down where you don’t feel desperate.
    • Wait until you figure out why you broke up in the first place.
    • Wait until you think it is healthy to get back with them.

Once you feel that you’re ready to talk to your ex and to rebuild something, do it. If you don’t ever feel that it was a good idea after all, move on with your life and find someone new.

How Long Does it Take to Get Back Together?

Most people that are going to get back together with their ex will take about 1-6 months before anything will happen. This can be a time that you can get back together and be together for the long-term.

Final Thoughts

If you want to get back with your ex and you want to have a healthy relationship with them then you need to take time for yourself. Focus on what you want and what you need. Focus on yourself and take time to heal.

You should wait until you heal before you ever try to get back with your ex. Wait for the right reasons and let yourself grow as a person. If you feel healed from the relationship and you feel that you are ready to start back with your ex, that is the time to connect with them again.


  1. The advice in this article resonates with the psychological principles of addiction and attachment. It is prudent to take time for self-reflection and personal growth post-breakup to ensure any reconciliation is for the right reasons.

  2. The suggestion to not rush back into a relationship post-breakup aligns with many psychological studies on attachment and dependency. Giving oneself time to heal and evaluate the relationship objectively is essential.

  3. The article rightly points out the importance of giving space post-breakup. This period can be an opportunity for both parties to gain perspective and ensure any decision to reunite is well-considered.

  4. The guidance on avoiding needy behavior and fostering self-confidence is valuable. Taking time to heal and grow independently can lead to a healthier dynamic if reconciliation is pursued.

    • Indeed, focusing on self-growth and ensuring emotional well-being can significantly impact the outcome of getting back together with an ex. It’s a balanced approach to managing post-breakup emotions.

  5. The emphasis on self-improvement and mental health before attempting to rekindle a relationship is significant. It’s crucial to ensure emotional stability and clarity to avoid repeating past mistakes.


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