Do you know people that are hard to be around because even if they are honest, they are brutal about it? We all want to be around people that are going to tell us the truth such as if we have something in our teeth, if we made something good when we cooked or if we need someone to tell us that someone is being disloyal. Of course, we will find ourselves talking to people that we love for this information such as family members or friends that we are close to. We would rather them tell us something that is hard to hear than to hear it from a stranger.
There are some people though that will tell us the truth and they will be very brutal about it. When this happens, it can be hurtful. They are not about saying things kind or telling someone something with love and even though they don’t mean to hurt us, the way that they tell us things can be hurtful. When you need to handle people that are brutally honest, here is the best way to do it.
Find Out Their Intentions
Even though someone might tell you something truthful, it doesn’t mean that they don’t hurt you when they do. You might even feel that someone that is being brutally honest is attacking you or putting you down. The first thing to try and figure out is if they are talking to you that way because it is you or if they just talk to everyone in general like that.
Before you let your feelings get hurt, notice how this person talks to other people. Are they blunt with other people in their life? If they are, they aren’t attacking you and they are just that kind of personality. Instead of looking at it as an attack or feeling hurt, know that you aren’t the only one that they treat this way.
- Do They Care?
It can be hard to even listen to someone when they are being brutally honest or they are being too blunt, but if you are talking to this kind of person, you need to be more open minded about who they are. You might feel like they are putting you down, but the truth is that they might just not be able to really talk to people without sounding that way.
Listen to what they are saying. Do they seem to care about you? Are they giving you good advice or addressing something that you might not want to face on your own? They might be saying things that are hurting you because you know that they are speaking the truth, and the truth can be hurtful. If their words are trying to help you then they probably do care about you.
- How Do You Feel?
What is making you feel uncomfortable about how they are talking to you? Think through these things and find out if this person is someone that genuinely cares that you know what is true. What kind of relationship do you have with this person?
If the person that is talking to you is your partner or a friend, talk to them about how their words and how their bluntness makes you feel. Tell them that they make you feel bad and hurt when they talk to you and ask them to be nicer when they tell you things. This is also a time that you might be overly sensitive and so you need to address how you are feeling and why their words are hurting you.
If you both value each other and you care about each other then you will do your best to speak better to each other in the future.
Stop Asking
Talking to someone that is blunt is already going to put you in a position where you are going to get their advice rather you want it or not. If you keep going to this person and asking them for advice, they are going to give it. Getting advice should be good for you but if it is hurting you when they talk to you, stop asking and seek advice from someone else that you want to trust and confide in.
End the Relationship
On the other hand, if you keep asking this person to not speak to you a certain way and they keep doing it, the best thing might be for you to end the relationship and find someone else to befriend. You can disconnect from this person and stop talking to them if they keep hurting you. You don’t need to be in a position where you are constantly feeling bad about who you are or what you are going through.
Final Thoughts
It can be hard to deal with problems that you face in your life and when you have to deal with someone being rude about it, it can be even harder. Learn to either get tougher or to walk away from relationships that make you feel hurt all the time.