Relationships always have some problems but there are standards that each person needs to set in their relationships. This means that there are deal-breakers when it comes to staying with someone that you love or care about.
Some things should never even be negotiated if you want to have a healthy relationship. These are things that you should never compromise on and that there is no real middle ground. The answer is just a straight up “no.”
These are some of the things that are needed in order to make your relationship healthy and strong!
Being Faithful
Fidelity is important for you and your partner. Some people want to have open relationships and if you are one of those people, there’s nothing wrong with that as long as everyone in the situation agrees.
If you choose to have one partner though you need to establish boundaries. You need to decide what you consider cheating like flirting or other behavior.
- Being Loyal
Being loyal is a Biggy. No one should be in a relationship where they have to question their partners loyalty. There is a difference between being loyal and being faithful. Loyalty means that someone is there for you when you need them.
It might be hard to have unconditional loyalty if you just started dating but if you’re in a serious relationship then loyalty is important.
- Respect and Care
If someone doesn’t have respect and care for you then this is a total deal-breaker. There should be no relationship that has no respect. If you don’t want respect and you insult and belittle each other or you call each other names, this can mean that you are allowing someone to treat you poorly. Demand respect!
- Freedom and Independence
Even if you are faithful and loyal to someone it doesn’t mean that they should be controlling your life. You need to be independent, and you need to have your freedom. You can have other friendships and you can go out and do your hobbies. You should leave to go out without your partner when you want to.
- Finances
Finances have to be talked about when you are with someone. You should understand that finances are a big thing, and no one can be in a successful and happy relationship if finances aren’t discussed. There has to be financial stability and no one person should be doing all of the money making without there being a discussion.
- Religion
Religion needs to be discussed. It doesn’t mean that you and your partner have to have the same beliefs but if you are in a different religion than your partner then you need to talk about this. This can mean that you have different outlooks to your partners parents and that can cause there to be problems later if not talked about.
- Building a Family
You need to talk about your family before you get too serious. You should know who your in-laws would be if you decide marriage and you have to decide how much influence they can have over your relationship.
You also need to think about siblings and other people that come in and out of the home.
- Friendships
Another thing to talk about is friendships. Make sure that you understand who your partners friends are, and they understand yours. Someone that likes to spend a lot of free time with their friends and likes to throw parties might not work well with dating an introvert.
Don’t forget the friends that are close and always want to be around or want you to come over.
- Having Children
One of the biggest things to talk about is having children. You need to make sure that you are on the same page when it comes to the idea of building a family. Some people love children and want to have a big family and others don’t want to have any children.
There is no middle ground when it comes to your idea of building a family. If you both want children that is amazing but if you want children and they don’t, it might be a deal-breaker.
- Abuse
This is something that shouldn’t even have to be talked about. Never tolerate any kind of abuse at all. If this happens then leave before you get too deep.
- Politics
After understand religious beliefs you need to talk about political beliefs. If you are both political then it might not be a problem but if you are someone that is very liberal and you are considering dating a conservative, make sure that you can have peaceful discussions without fighting.
- Morals
What moral values do you have and what do you expect yourself and others to live by? Having someone come into your life that has totally different core values than you do might be a problem.
- Future Goals
It is important to discuss what you expect for the future. You might have the idea of opening your own business or even moving away. Whatever goals you have, see if they fit together. What are your recent goals, what about five years down the road?
You should also include in there what you expect in your relationship as the time goes on.
- Total Honesty
Never compromise on being with someone that is going to be dishonest with you. This is the fastest way to ruin any good relationship. Make sure that you and your partner talk about being honest, even in the small things.
- Personal Growing
You will never be happy with someone that doesn’t allow you to grow and to become who you want to be. Self-growth can help you to have strong self-esteem and to live a better life.
- Jealousy and Anger
Some people are very jealous, and the slightest things can make them angry. You need to talk about this and if it seems like it’s going to be unhealthy, move on before it’s too late.
- Relationship Commitment
What kind of commitment do you want to have with your partner? This is something that has to be discussed in the dating world now. Some people are selfish, and they don’t want to commit to their partner even though they want the benefits. Find out what your future is like together before you make a move.
- Sex and Intimacy
It is important to talk about intimacy and to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page. You don’t want to be with someone that isn’t going to please you in bed.
- Bad Habits
Make sure that you don’t commit to someone that has a substance abuse problem without talking about it. Even someone that smokes can be a deal-breaker if you’re completely against it.
- Over Dependence
Dependence is good but it can be a problem if there is too much of it. Make sure that you trust your partner enough that you don’t have to feel that you can’t leave their side.
- Job
Talk about your job and your career for now and for the future. If you plan on taking a long-term job, this should be talked about when you are seriously dating someone. You need to talk about what will happen if you go to work and you have children at home. Ask questions that are deep and personal, so you are on the same page.
- Gut Feelings
Pay attention to your gut feelings and the energy that your partner has around you. Make sure that you are able to match energies and that you are able to appreciate each other.
What Exactly Do You Want?
There are some things that are deal-breakers, and you need to be upfront right away when you decide to date someone seriously. This can even be as fast as the first date. If you go out with someone and they just want sex, but you want something serious, stop it right from the start.
The moment that you want to be in a long-term relationship with someone is the moment that you need to deal with all of these situations. Don’t wait or it could cause you to have a broken heart later when you have to end the relationship.
You might be in love with your partner and not want to stop being with them but what if you negotiate these things? It can be detrimental to your relationship and to your mental health. You won’t change your partner down the road, and you can’t hope that this will happen.
Final Thoughts
It is not likely that you will be able to stay with someone that doesn’t have the same ideas that you have about certain things. There are some definite deal breakers in all relationships, and you need to make sure that you set yours before you ever choose to get serious.