You’re the only one who has the right to decide who is perfect for you. But do not ignore the warning signs of dating a flawed partner. Are you dating down? Going for the second best and thinking you don’t have any other option? Are you dating someone who isn’t worthy of your time and affection? Are you dating a person who isn’t really who you wanted? Are you going for someone below your level?
Here are the things that you need to look out for:
- Don’t Blame Your Success
Many successful women are single, and they blame their singleness on their success. The truth is they date men who aren’t on their level. Successful, confident men aren’t intimidated by successful, confident women. So if you keep picking men who don’t have the same drive as you, learn to pick better. Plenty of successful men are willing to build an empire with you. - Show Them the Real You
If you feel like you have to hide the real you or dial it down for your partner, you’re dating down. You don’t need the added stress of living a lie just to be in a relationship. You also don’t need to be fake to make your partner feel better about themselves and their shortcomings. If you date someone who is your equal, you get to be the real you. - You Have to Keep Encouraging Yourself
You’re dating down if you have to keep reassuring yourself that you’re with the right person. You may have a checklist of what you think your partner is supposed to be, and even though the person you’re with doesn’t meet some, most, or all of the requirements on your checklist, you keep reassuring yourself they do. But, unfortunately, no matter how many times you tell yourself they are, they aren’t the right person for you. - You’d Be Better Off Alone
What would you really lose if you broke up with them? If you’re dating down, you’d actually have a lot to gain. A good relationship is about fairness—things tend to even out. But if you’re dating down, you may be giving more (and they may be taking more) than they are giving to you. So you’d probably save yourself a lot of time and money if you just broke up with them. - You’re Keeping Them a Secret
When you’re ashamed of your relationship, you don’t want the world to know that you’re in one. When you know your friends and family wouldn’t approve of this person (because they’re beneath you), you secretly date them. Ask yourself why you feel the need to be so secretive. The answer is that you’re dating down.
Quantity vs. Quality
You don’t have to date down just to be in a relationship. Love is about quality, not quantity. You’re better off dating fewer quality people than wasting your time dating people who aren’t good enough for you. You’d save yourself a lot of time, money, and heartache if you learned to date people who are on your level.
The article emphasizes the importance of being with a partner who matches your drive and success level. It’s a valid point that being with someone who truly understands and complements your ambitions can make a significant difference in personal fulfillment.
The point about not having to hide your true self in a relationship resonates deeply. Authenticity is fundamental in a partnership. If you can’t be yourself, it might not be a relationship worth maintaining.
While I agree that compatibility is crucial, the notion of ‘dating down’ seems somewhat elitist. Relationships are complex and shouldn’t be reduced to a checklist of attributes. Emotional and intellectual connections often transcend such criteria.
The article brings forward the idea that quality should be prioritized over quantity in dating. It’s a reminder that meaningful, worthwhile relationships require sincere effort and a genuine connection, rather than settling due to societal or personal pressures.
Interesting perspective on how societal success impacts dating life. The idea that successful women often struggle to find equally driven partners highlights a broader issue within gender dynamics in relationships.