It is the security, and knowing that you are wanted and loved is a spectacular feeling. There is something special when you know someone is willing to make an effort to be with you. The only problem is when the wanting gets out of control. If it becomes a game, it may not end well.
Some women like the idea of a man willing to chase after them. Movies and television have been filled with love-struck men in hot pursuit of the woman of their dreams. Entire reality shows have been built on the idea of having men compete to win “The Bachelorette.”
Hunting for Love?
Our culture has turned chasing love into a romantic myth so powerful that it literally becomes a definition of romance. Witnessing men go wild doing “crazy” things to win a woman’s heart, even engaging in fights, is all part of ideal love, at least for some.
The only problem with creating a scenario where your Romeo must run through fire and ice to get to you is that the chase may end in disappointment. On the other hand, after all the expectations, demands, and hurdles have been conquered, and you’re finally together, there is the very possibility that the hunt was far more interesting than the prey.
Building anticipation means building expectations. If the expectations he has are too high after the courting, dinners, and gifts have been given, the prize at the end of the rainbow may seem, well, lacking, even boring. The chase was fun, the victory, not so much. Another downfall with turning love into a “come and get me” game is that your brave hunter could be a real loser desperate for love.
Begging for Love?
Men of substance, character, and backbone are more than likely not willing to debase themselves, even for love. Few men of worth are simply going to jump, sit and wait while feelings and warmth are distributed like treats to a hungry dog. Proud, brave men, as a rule, do not do that.
For someone who loves to be pursued like a deer in the forest, there is the real possibility that the man who does everything for you is so weak, so insecure, and so insipid that you may have hitched your wagon to a broken-down mule. His desperate phone calls, his need to be around you 24 hours a day, and his crying, pleading, and neediness can turn from being cute into being irritating. So now you are stuck dumping a man who you know will turn into a basket case when you let him know it is over.
In either scenario, you look at finding yourself dumped and discarded or tied to a loser incapable of being a man. Wanting to be wanted is nice. But, when you turn love into a treat after a long chase, you risk finding real love. Ultimately, all you may have is a game with no players.
The article sheds light on the potential downsides of turning love into a game. It reminds us that while the chase can be thrilling, it should not overshadow the importance of building a genuine, mutually respectful relationship.
I appreciate the analysis of how cultural narratives have glamorized the chase in romantic relationships, but it is worth considering that not all relationships follow this pattern. Some people find genuine and lasting connections without the need for such theatrics.
Indeed, Itchy and Candy. While the article highlights potential issues with the ‘chase,’ it’s crucial to remember that every relationship is unique, and what works for one couple may not work for another.
I agree, Candy. The portrayal of love as a game can be problematic, but it’s also important to recognize that healthy relationships can be built on mutual respect and understanding, rather than on the excitement of pursuit.
The notion that real love cannot be a game resonates deeply. The emphasis on mutual respect and genuine connection as opposed to a competitive chase is something that should be more widely acknowledged in our cultural narratives.
Absolutely, Elizabeth. Relationships built on mutual respect and understanding have a stronger foundation and are more likely to succeed in the long run. The game dynamics can often lead to disappointment and unmet expectations.
This piece highlights a critical dichotomy in modern romance—the desire for a partner to put in effort versus the risk of falling for someone whose love is conditional and fleeting. It’s a thought-provoking read.
The article provides an interesting perspective on the dynamics of courtship, particularly the notion that the chase may be more exhilarating than the actual relationship. It raises valid points about the potential pitfalls of creating unrealistic expectations in the pursuit of love.