There’s spring after a cold, dark winter. This is a sign of change of seasons. When spring comes, everything starts to grow again. Preparing yourself for a new love to come into your life is similar to the changing of seasons. But of course, it’s vital to know if you actually have a heart to a change of seasons.
Many of us get frozen in the same patterns and relationships, and the desire to change must be the first step toward preparing ourselves for love. This means we need to get honest with ourselves. If we desire a new love, we have to let the old one die.
This means not jumping from one relationship right into a new one. Many of us try this, and it never works. After ending a relationship, we must give ourselves space and time to reconnect, to learn to love ourselves, and to heal. There is no time limit for this process, as everyone has varied degrees of healing, depending on the relationship we’re healing from, and our own individual emotional patterns.
Once we heal, we must then determine what qualities we desire in a mate. Write these traits down, then see if we personally possess them as well. Many times, if we are not living consciously, we want certain things in others that we ourselves can not bring to the table. For instance, if we desire trust in our relationships, can we ourselves be trusted? If we desire financial stability, are we financially stable? Be honest with yourself, and if you find you’re lacking in certain qualities, work on those issues.
After we’ve done this internal self-evaluation, we have to then look at our attitudes. You’ll know when you’re ready for love because there are signs that point the way.
First, you’ll adopt a more mature outlook. We tend to be immature when we trade substance for superficial qualities, like wanting to date people because of their height, the color of their hair, the car they drive, or money they make. Instead, look at people for who they really are.
Unfortunately, sometimes when you think you’ve encountered someone who is seemingly perfect, an unfortunate event, a hurtful word, or misplaced trust will snap you back to reality. No one is perfect; everyone has flaws. The trick is finding someone whose flaws you can tolerate. When we become mature about our outlook, we make better decisions based on mature values.
Second, you’ll stop trying so hard. Some of us feel frantic, desperately looking for a new relationship. We may have several profiles on different dating websites, or date multiple people at the same time. We’re so consumed with finding “the one” that we can’t concentrate on anything else. When we’re relaxed, we feel good about who we are even when we’re single. We’re alone, but we aren’t lonely. In turn, we’re not exuding “desperation,” which, by the way, most can detect. The only people that will be attracted to this type of energy are those that want to capitalize on it. They will use and abuse you. Don’t make this mistake.
When you’ve reached a place where you’ve healed, corrected personal deficiencies, and changed your attitude, put forth the energy to meet new people. This means you take a balanced approach to meeting others. Provide doorways to meet new people. Take up new hobbies, mix and mingle with others, and get out of the house. Most of all, feel happy about it, and have great expectations.