There are times that we wonder if someone truly loves us as much as we love them. The fact is everyone loves differently, and rarely do they love any two people the same way. Just because a person has loved someone in the past very deeply does not mean they cannot have the same depth of love for you. It is only that their love for you is unique to you, just as is your connection with each other, the things you share, and where each of you is at in your own personal journeys.
First love can be very powerful; however, due to lack of maturity, age at the time of falling into love, and lack of experience, there is no way to fairly compare a first love to the love the same person feels for the person they marry. Just as it would be unfair to compare or attempt to categorize the love a person felt for their last partner to the love they feel for you.
Do They Love Me?
When asked, “Does he (or she) love me as much as I love him (or her)?” My answer will relate to why they love them. I also explain that instead of asking, “Do they love me?” ask yourself, are you receiving the kind of love you want, need, and deserve?
If you are receiving what you need from the other, you are loved. If the other person is making an effort in the relationship, you are loved. If you feel loved, you are loved, but are you loved enough? Each of us has our own expectations in love, and while someone may love you with every fiber of their being, that still may not be enough to make you feel it.
You should ask yourself if your expectations are based upon a lack of giving and receiving or if you are doing all of the work in the relationship. It could also be that you are carrying baggage from a past relationship where your needs were not met into this current relationship, passing the buck onto your new love.
Open Your Mind and Your Heart
If you are in your current relationship with an open mind and heart, you should not expect your current love to compensate for the lack of a past love. If you are truly giving your 100% to your love yet not receiving the love you need in return, it doesn’t matter how much they love you. Simply put, it is not enough if you do not feel loved.
It is also not fair to yourself or your partner to compare your love for each other to past loves. Instead, seek to discover if the love you are giving one another is strong enough in the here and now and if it is growing to bring about the result you desire of being together forever.
The only category your love needs to fall in is one of mutual effort, mutual support, and the mutual desire to keep that love growing!
I appreciate the point that love should not be measured by past relationships. It makes me reconsider how I view love in my own life.
Indeed! It’s crucial to focus on the present relationship rather than comparing it to past ones.
The article’s emphasis on mutual effort and support as the foundation of love is very compelling. It reinforces the idea that love should be a balanced give-and-take.
I agree, mutual support helps in building a strong and lasting relationship. It fosters trust and respect.
Absolutely, mutual effort is key to a successful relationship. Both partners need to contribute equally.
The article touches on an essential aspect of human relationships: the uniqueness of each person’s way of expressing love. It is important to recognize that love is not a one-size-fits-all emotion.
I found the advice to ask oneself if you are receiving the kind of love you want, need, and deserve to be very practical. It allows for a more introspective approach to evaluating a relationship.
The idea that we all have different expectations in love is well articulated. It brings to light the importance of communication in understanding each other’s needs.