Holiday Romances: Can They Last?

I imagine walking hand in hand along a sandy beach while watching the most brilliant pink sunset I’ve ever seen with a hot guy with a sexy accent and a winning smile.  If you are so inclined to imbibe in a holiday romance, enjoy the moment! Ultimately, 93% of holiday romances break up, and 75% are over when the plane lands in your home country.

This positive state creates intense, strong energy. It attracts the universe’s ability to make your dreams come true. If your workweek is consumed with wondering if you will ever meet a soulmate, your relaxed vacation state is likely to attract one.

The magic that a new lover makes with you is made all the more awesome because you are in a suspended state in a magical place you chose to visit. But just because all vacations have to come to an end does not mean that all good things must be done with them as well.

If your encounter with a close-to-perfect match made you think that you had found a possible soulmate, why should you let trivial matters like thousands of miles between you two get in the way? Can your vacation romance last?

Here is a progressive checklist to follow as you explore whether fate brought you together for a short period of time to prepare you to be together forever.

• Are You Sure He Is Single and Available?

In years passed, a vacation lothario could convince his summer squeeze that there was nobody else but her. Today, the Internet is your friend. You can search for info about him at any time, perhaps while he is making the moves on you during your hotel getaway. Get away from him if a simple search reveals a wife or prominent girlfriend. Plenty of men get good at being single during business trips.

If you look him up after a vacation fling has ended, don’t just stop with a casual search engine perusal. Isn’t it time to add him to your social networking profile? Does he add you back? Not adding you to his social networking profile indicates he doesn’t want you on the periphery of his social circle. Now, this is fair. Imagine if you returned home and fell in love two weeks later with an awesome new boyfriend. Would you want some guy who you had fun with last summer pestering you to friend him on the Internet? Some people do not want to look in the rearview mirror, which is okay. You had fun; move on.

If he adds you to his profile, this is your chance to examine him as he wants the world to see him. Is he the same guy online that you met out of town? Do you even recognize him? Would you like to continue seeing where it could all go? If so, you better then check who else might be in line for his attention. Are there public pictures of him with a specific girl repeatedly? Are they recent pictures? Was she there on vacation with him? Did she host a welcome home party for him?

If he appears to be single and is someone you want to get to know better after having made such a connection with him, make regular contact and see if he reciprocates. If he begins initiating contact, that is the best sign yet that there may be more for you than just a pleasant memory.

• Examine His Values

The things in life that he most values should be at least somewhat compatible with your outlook. If one of you is politically active and the other has no interest in reading the daily news, it may not be a great long-term match. If both of you love politics but do not agree on anything, perhaps even being polar opposites, the fact that you value looking at the world as a series of problems to be solved with ideology and action is more important than the specific courses of action either of you favor. If you two are artists, it is less important that you are both working in the same field as much as it matters that you understand and respect those fields.

Your mutual values measure your inherent compatibility as a couple – beyond looks, physical attraction, and a good time on vacation. A guy you meet on vacation can be charming, engaging, handsome, and great for an initial physical match-up. But spending extended amounts of time with someone can reveal how closely aligned your outlook on life really is.

You may have had a good time with him, but if he values wild nightlife and you are looking forward to starting a family, chances are you will not get along as life partners for an extended period of time. A brilliant spark of electric attraction is not a guarantee of soulmate status.

• Reconnect

You two can find ways to keep in touch over the Internet and the telephone, but keeping in touch works best when you two are actually touching. Don’t plan to quit your job and get together with him just yet, though. The speed at which you two come together when you get out of town does not mean this relationship can ignore the ordinary pace of a budding relationship.

Plan a short weekend reunion to see if the spark is still there in person. Pick a neutral spot. Do you two share mutual interests? Fun in the sun? Museums and the theater? Hiking and exploring nature? A short vacation got you two together; another one can seal your compatibility.

Transitioning to the Long-Distance Relationship

If you can successfully navigate these first three steps, it is time to discuss establishing an official relationship and begin treating it like one of the hundreds of thousands of long-distance relationships worldwide.

Alternate visits to your place with visits to his part of the world. Introduce him to your life first, then to your friends, then to your extended social network, and finally to your family. For best results, follow the same pattern with his world. Enjoy your time together and use your time apart to understand what it was about the magic encounter you had on vacation that changed two lives forever.