It is an important part of a loving relationship to be a giving and understanding partner but a partnership needs to have give and take in order to be healthy and functional. If all you do is give, give, and give some more, your union will feel one-sided. And you’ll certainly feel depleted as a result of all the energy you spend trying to please your other half, without getting anything in return. Here are three signs your relationship is in need of re-balancing. See if yours fits these characteristics and how you can make changes to create a more equal partnership.
1. Your Partner Doesn’t Appreciate Your Gestures
Do you always make sure the fridge is full of their favorites foods? Are you always cleaning and folding their laundry? Do they take care of you the same way? Perhaps they wash your car without you asking or run your errands so you can relax at home? If you go above and beyond for each other, you have an equal partnership. However, if you’re the only one doing nice things for them, your equilibrium is off. If your kind gestures get overlooked and if they take for granted how thoughtful you are, it’s time to have a talk about gratitude (or the lack thereof). Make sure that the things you do for them are what they actually want. If not, you need to take a look at why you give it to them anyway.
2. Your Partner Doesn’t Do Nice Things for You
As I mentioned before, kind gestures should go both ways in an equal partnership. But if your partner doesn’t make a habit out of doing nice things for you, you may be wondering why. This doesn’t make them cold-hearted or incapable of love—it may just be a matter of not understanding your love language.
Your love language is doing nice things for your partner to show them you love them. However, your partner’s love language may be something entirely different. Maybe they show their love through words or physical affection—one language is not better than the other! But, if they used to do nice things for your too, and they no longer do it, your equilibrium is off.
3. You’re Starting to Resent Them
If your relationship lacks equilibrium, you’re going to get fed up. You’re probably also going to feel sad that your partner doesn’t seem to appreciate or return your gestures. If this is the case, it’s time to have a heart-to-heart with your significant other—he or she may be totally blind to the fact that the give-and-take of your union lacks equilibrium. Or, he or she may be having doubts about your relationship. When one person is doing all the giving, and annoyance or insult begins to creep in, it means that they are not getting their needs met. And while a relationship doesn’t need to be completely even to be healthy, a strong, happy bond does require that both people are feeling satisfied by the other. Talking out your frustrations will likely reveal the root cause of the issue.