Do you have a best male friend? The one with whom you do almost everything together? You do everything from concerts to dinners to traveling together to complaining about your jobs and bad dates—except sleep together. And at the back of your mind, you once thought of kissing him, but should you? If there’s a man in your life who’s the first person you turn to, maybe he has the potential to be more than just a friend. Perhaps you should date him!
Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not talking about dating your guy friend because you’re lonely, not married yet, or bored. I’m telling you to look at your friendship and friends discerningly. Are there any romantic feelings there? Do you get the sense he has romantic feelings for you? Ponder these questions and a few more!
- Why is He Your Best Friend?
You guys spend so much time together for a reason. Maybe he makes you feel good about yourself. Perhaps he really listens to you. Maybe his apartment feels like a safe and welcoming environment that shields you from the harshness of the outside world. If you guys can sit in front of the TV in silence and still have a great time just being in each other’s presence, maybe there’s something more there. If he’s the first person you think of when something good or bad happens in your life, maybe your relationship could be more than a friendship. Perhaps you haven’t considered him romantically because he’s right in front of your face! Sometimes an image or a person can be too close to see.
- Are You Both Single?
One of the things you bond over is bad dates. He can’t seem to meet anyone great, and neither can you. Except, you actually already have—each other! Instead of having a bad date after a bad date, why not go out with someone you know, you’ll have a good time with? If both are free of other romantic entanglements, why not consider taking your relationship to the next level? Chances are there is something there that perhaps you are ignoring because real connections are scary. Going on dates that never amount to anything may be disappointing, but putting your heart out there with someone valuable can ultimately be the hardest (and best) choice because it can change you for the better.
- Are You Attracted to Each Other?
C’mon, dig deep. How do you really feel? Why is he the person you go to for everything? Why is he the person you want to see whenever you have free time? If just looking at his face makes you smile, don’t try convincing yourself you don’t find him attractive. Even your friends are secretly taking bets as to when the two of you will finally get together. Stop denying the attraction and consider romance the next time you look into his eyes. Instead of a quick celebratory high five, let your hand linger a little longer. See if you end up holding hands and liking it. It could be the first step toward major romantic progress.
- Do You Get Jealous When He Dates Other People?
Do you hate it when he dates other people? Perhaps you feel threatened or possessive when someone new comes into your life—especially when your best friend spends more time with them than you. Now they won’t drop everything just to spend time with you. They may even establish some healthy boundaries so their new partner doesn’t feel like they have to compete with you. I’ve had many close platonic male friends, and I’ve always understood there will be some distance when they get into a relationship. Your top priority is your romantic partner, and you must understand that. If they’d rather prioritize you than the other person, they are not with the right person and should be with you!
- Are You Afraid of Ruining Your Friendship?
Lastly, if you’re not dating because you don’t want to ruin the friendship, this is never a good reason to deny love. If you’re romantically interested and compatible, then go for it. You won’t complicate things by becoming a couple; you will enhance them! Some of the best romantic relationships started out as friendships. Wouldn’t you like to be in one of those relationships?
- Is It a Cure for Loneliness for You?
Dating your best friend is serious, so don’t do it if you don’t have noble intentions. Don’t date them if you’re looking for a casual relationship and are not ready to commit. Don’t do it because you’re feeling lonely. You could end up lonelier without them to call a friend. Don’t date them to keep them from dating someone else. If you truly care for them, you want them to be happy. And lastly, don’t even consider dating them if you realize you don’t feel passion for them.
Do you have a best male friend? The one with whom you do almost everything together? You do everything from concerts to dinners to traveling together to complaining about your jobs and bad dates—except sleep together. And at the back of your mind, you once thought of kissing him, but should you? If there’s a man in your life who’s the first person you turn to, maybe he has the potential to be more than just a friend. Perhaps you should date him!
Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not talking about dating your guy friend because you’re lonely, not married yet, or bored. I’m telling you to look at your friendship and your friend discerningly. Are there any romantic feelings there? Do you get the sense he has romantic feelings for you? Ponder these questions and a few more!
- Why is He Your Best Friend?
You guys spend so much time together for a reason. Maybe he makes you feel good about yourself. Perhaps he really listens to you. Maybe his apartment feels like a safe and welcoming environment that shields you from the harshness of the outside world. If you guys can sit in front of the TV in silence and still have a great time just being in each other’s presence, maybe there’s something more there. If he’s the first person you think of when something good or bad happens in your life, maybe your relationship could be more than a friendship. Perhaps you haven’t considered him romantically because he’s right in front of your face! Sometimes an image or a person can be too close to see.
- Are You Both Single?
One of the things you bond over is bad dates. He can’t seem to meet anyone great, and neither can you. Except, you actually already have—each other! Instead of having a bad date after a bad date, why not go out with someone you know, you’ll have a good time with? If both are free of other romantic entanglements, why not consider taking your relationship to the next level? Chances are there is something there that perhaps you are ignoring because real connections are scary. Going on dates that never amount to anything may be disappointing, but putting your heart out there with someone valuable can ultimately be the hardest (and best) choice because it can change you for the better.
- Are You Attracted to Each Other?
C’mon, dig deep. How do you really feel? Why is he the person you go to for everything? Why is he the person you want to see whenever you have free time? If just looking at his face makes you smile, don’t try convincing yourself you don’t find him attractive. Even your friends are secretly taking bets as to when the two of you will finally get together. Stop denying the attraction and consider romance the next time you look into his eyes. Instead of a quick celebratory high five, let your hand linger a little longer. See if you end up holding hands and liking it. It could be the first step toward major romantic progress.
- Do You Get Jealous When He Dates Other People?
Do you hate it when he dates other people? Perhaps you feel threatened or possessive when someone new comes into your life—especially when your best friend spends more time with them than you. Now they won’t drop everything just to spend time with you. They may even establish some healthy boundaries so their new partner doesn’t feel like they have to compete with you. I’ve had many close platonic male friends, and I’ve always understood there will be some distance when they get into a relationship. Your top priority is your romantic partner, and you must understand that. If they’d rather prioritize you than the other person, they are not with the right person and should be with you!
Are You Afraid of Ruining Your Friendship?
Lastly, if you’re not dating because you don’t want to ruin the friendship, this is never a good reason to deny love. If you’re romantically interested and compatible, then go for it. You won’t complicate things by becoming a couple; you will enhance them! Some of the best romantic relationships started out as friendships. Wouldn’t you like to be in one of those relationships?
Never a Cure for Loneliness
Dating your best friend is serious, so don’t do it if you don’t have noble intentions. Don’t date them if you’re looking for a casual relationship and are not ready to commit. Don’t do it because you’re feeling lonely. You could end up lonelier without them to call a friend. Don’t date them to keep them from dating someone else. If you truly care for them, you want them to be happy. And lastly, don’t even consider dating them if you realize you don’t feel passion for them.
The article raises some interesting points about evaluating your relationship with a close friend. It’s essential to consider whether there are genuine romantic feelings before taking any steps.
Exploring the possibility of dating a best friend can be daunting due to the fear of ruining the friendship. However, as the article suggests, it might enhance the relationship if there’s mutual attraction and compatibility.
Indeed, the risk is significant, but so can be the reward. It ultimately comes down to clear communication and shared understanding.
A thoughtful read. It makes sense to ponder the dynamics and underlying feelings in your friendship. However, such a decision should be made with caution, especially if it risks altering a valued platonic relationship.
The advice to not date out of loneliness or convenience is very practical. A relationship born out of genuine mutual feelings is more likely to last and be fulfilling.
It’s a significant decision and can’t be taken lightly. Ensuring that you’re both on the same page romantically before taking the plunge is essential.
Absolutely, the foundation of a long-term relationship should be based on truth and mutual respect, not just proximity or circumstance.
The idea of transitioning from friends to partners is not new, but this article does provide a structured way to assess whether it’s worth pursuing. It’s crucial to be honest with oneself about one’s feelings.