Dating can be truly frustrating. The worst part is that you can sometimes find it difficult to figure out why your dates are never working out. Are you just meeting all the wrong people? Are you a poor fit for your local dating scene? Is dating even truly worth it whatsoever?
The thing is, the problem may well be you. Of course, it’s better to be liked for who you are, not some version of yourself that isn’t necessarily real. What’s worth bearing in mind is that the other person doesn’t know you yet, and first impressions matter; in our culture, certain signs usually indicate the same things. If you aren’t careful, you may be sending off the wrong signs altogether.
Here are 4 signs you ought to be practicing in your dating life:
- Temper Your Jokes at First
If your potential partner isn’t responding to you enough to make plans for a date, your vibes may be completely wrong. Sarcasm, in particular, can send off the wrong signals altogether; your potential partner will likely get used to that over time—and probably enjoy it—but first-draw sarcasm paints a picture of you as someone who does not take anything seriously. Similarly, everyone’s sense of humor is unique, so it is better to save the jokes until the other person gets to know you better.
- Allow Your Date to Be Comfortable
If you and your date can’t get your groove on, it may be that they are arrogant or boring. Or on the other hand, it might mean that you are not allowing the conversation to flow properly. There could be a number of reasons for this: First of all, are you listening properly or just talking? Secondly, are you meeting in loud places where your date cannot be comfortable? Third, are you blaming your potential partner for the date going wrong? These three things can resolve any communicational issues in a date and allow it to move more fluently.
- You’re Pulling the Emergency Brake
You may not be getting a second date out of your potential partner because you haven’t been asked out again. The reason might also be that you don’t actually want one; are you seeking out the wrong types of people in the first place, and are they letting you down? Sometimes, these things happen because of the signs you’re sending out in the first place. You need to be attuned to your date’s emotions. Are you interested in a relationship? Try not to communicate that you are only interested in a casual fling.
- Don’t Let Yourself Be Worn Down by Expectations
If you’re having a great time speaking to someone over Tinder or Facebook, you may end up feeling disappointed by them in real life. Don’t forget, though, that you may have projected these expectations onto the person yourself. If you idealize your potential partner too much, the results may let you down, and it won’t even be their fault. Instead, allow your date to be themselves and try to gauge the tempo of your potential relationship.
Once again, dating is truly difficult. However, if you’re honest about what you want and express yourself clearly and honestly, you will find the process much easier.
The article provides useful insights into common dating pitfalls. The emphasis on first impressions and the need to temper sarcasm initially is particularly noteworthy.
Indeed, Gerald. First impressions are crucial, and understanding that humor can be subjective could really make a difference in early dating interactions.
Managing expectations is another critical area highlighted in the article. High expectations can lead to disappointment, which might not be fair to the other person.
The point about not pulling the ’emergency brake’ is well-made. It’s easy to misinterpret signals or to project our own insecurities onto the other person.
The advice to be honest and clear about what you want in dating is simple yet effective. Transparency can prevent a lot of misunderstandings and mismatches.
I find the suggestion to allow your date to be comfortable quite valuable. Often, we focus so much on our own nerves, we forget that the other person might be just as uncomfortable.