ONE LOVE FOR US
It is pitiful that so many people feel that they are incomplete without another half of their soul, or that they are convinced there is only one possible mate for them, and if they don’t meet that person for some reason, there is no chance for romantic happiness. For those who have been in a relationship for many years, they become aware of the compromises that must be made and the things they must accept in their partners in order to make the union work. Unfortunately, too many people who are single are stuck in a cycle of searching for the ideal partner. The truth is that ideals don’t jive with reality. The Myth of the One The concept of the “one true love” is a myth. The idea of romantic love is actually a fairly recent one in human history, and though sexual attraction and love have no doubt been around as long as we have, this concept that there is only one soul with which we can happily share our lives is a creation of modern society. It is not a spiritual truth. It’s impossible to say how many soul mates a person has per lifetime because there is no algorithm or formula to inform you. How many loves you connect with in a lifetime depends on how open you are to the idea of love. I know many people who invested everything in their partner and the relationship ultimately failed. For some of these people, they’ve given up the fight and will likely never let themselves commit to loving anyone else again. Why? Deep down they believe we’ve got only one love per lifetime. Possible or Not? “Is it possible to be happy without a partner?” Of course it is possible. People have long stretches of time without having a partner, and some don’t ever find another person they want to live with for a lifetime. We are the ones choosing whether or not to be happy relative to any life circumstance. Remember, relationships are a lot of work and take energy to sustain a worthy use of time. And it may be that some people don’t want to invest that time or energy. The belief that we only get one true love per lifetime is deeply related with our society’s insistence that monogamy is good for couples – and the moral choice, to boot. The important point for individuals is for everyone to make sure that they are being honest about their needs, maintaining flexibility and openness when it comes to the fact that their needs could change in the future, and remembering that they – not societal norms – should decide who they are and what they want.