Love and jealousy go hand in hand, without the former, there cannot be the latter. We all need to feel important especially in our romantic relationships. Consciously and subconsciously, we are always looking for proof that we are cared for and loved. It is an unusual person who doesn’t seek such reassurance. However, in seeking such affirmation we can also open the door to feelings of jealousy.
The good, the bad and the jealousy:
I think we would all agree that a small amount of jealousy can be good – even flattering – and can help us appreciate the value of a relationship in our life. The emotion can, properly controlled, enhance feelings of passion and excitement: it can demonstrate that we are needed and desired. On the other hand, it is not for nothing that jealousy is known as the Green Eyed Monster. Out of control, jealously is an emotional monster. Extreme jealousy can destroy relationships and damage our mental and physical well-being.
Specialists insist that overcoming jealousy begins with awareness. By changing how we view ourselves we can eliminate its destructive powers. Without doubt, jealously can be extremely difficult to control but for those who are prey to its destructive force we can and must learn to exercise control over it.
7 steps to controlling and surviving jealousy:
1. Choose to believe. Try to refrain from questioning your partner. Always start from a position of trust.
2. Don’t compare yourself to a potential rival. Appreciate and treat yourself with dignity and respect. Also, remember to have your own interests and activities – don’t try to copy someone else just to ingratiate yourself with your partner.
3. Remember this phrase: “What I fear, I create”. Refuse to give in to fear.
4. Talk to your partner openly – air your doubts – and don’t play games. Make it a priority to establish ground rules for your relationship. Do not ever try to make your partner jealous.
5. Don’t indulge the darker recesses of your imagination. Jealousy is driven by distortion. Be strong, rely on what you know – not what you think.
6. Behave always in a trustful way yourself and expect trust in return. Also, recognize that we all need our own space from time to time.
7. Concentrate on all the positive aspects of your relationship. Do good things together. Be happy together. Enjoy your relationship.
Jealousy can kill Love, but only if you allow it to – so don’t allow this to happen.
It is totally within the power of you and your partner to prevent this unhealthy possessive feeling from getting out of control. Through belief, trust, good sense and honest communication we all possess the ability to create relationships immune from jealousy.
As Bob Marley said: “Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don’t complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts; put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!”